Broken

"Broken"

splintered excerpts of life
lay scattered about the floor

they sting
they are shards of me
bloodied by my bare feet

i couldn’t tolerate the reminder
of my faults
so with my fists i struck hard
hurting myself
resolving nothing
multiplying my paranoia

seven is such a big number
now my pains and mistakes
haunt me a thousand more
ways than just the one
i could have easily turned away from

robert lloyd

Crumble

"Crumble"

Sticky lips hover teasingly over my skin

She knows the beast she stirs

And still she waits

The room is thick with her scent

And I inhale deeply

Enjoying

Lilacs and lust

I want her touch

But I will not beg

I tremble

But not because of the grey cold of morning

We are both too heated for that

My body aches

As she moves around me

Ever so careful avoiding any contact

Why won’t she end this silly game?

She needs release

I can feel her want

I need her…

Release

My eyes close

And I can see her devil smile

My eyes open

As her taunting soft laughter tickles my spine

Damn her and her need to control

My will breaks

And our bodies meet

She gasps with a victorious yes

Robert Lloyd

Thief

"Thief"

My breath

My will

My everything

You stole this from me

All of it

The past is gone

I can’t imagine a world without you

To escape is to sleep

And still you steal my dreams

Robbing me of loneliness

Each morning you take the worst of me

Replacing it with hope

And I enjoy being your victim

Robert Lloyd

Hide and Seek

"Hide and Seek"


I lie here
Surrounded by the thrum of summer
The yellow waves of a vast sea sway around me
Grass taller than my imagination
I can smell the earth
It is mingled with soil and fading wildflowers

I pray the birds do not give me away
I am ever so still
Holding my breath

The distance shares the laughter of my sister
As it dances closer amongst the sound of the nearby creek

The crack and thump of her footfalls flutter my stomach
Teasing me
Telling me to rise
To run
But the haze of comfort
Weighs heavy on me

As my clouded mind thickens with the warm sun in my eyes
I hear her murmur
Just before sleep takes me
“Come out Come out, Wherever you are.”


                                                                                              Robert Lloyd

Santa Monica

"Santa Monica"

As the morning fog slowly lifted They rose from their slumber

Slowly crawling atop the earth to the edge

They fought against the sand and extinction as it sucked their soft feet into it's depths

Eventually they overcame the thick travel and found themselves tiptoeing at the waters touch Smiling, most knew they taunted wondering eyes

Never intending more than an ankle deep dip

They lowered their towels onto the sand as if a prepping a curtain on a stage

When one vanished into the call of beyond the beach and the real world

Another or twelve easily replaced them

Wave upon wave of beauty slapped at the sand with well oiled and sometimes overlooked skin

They lay there Roasting, Tantalizing and perfect

Occasionally turning as if they were on an invisible spit

First they arrived staggered in time Solitary and bronzed

A determined blonde here and yawning brunette there

Soon they flocked like a mass of seagulls begging for the kiss of the pacific waters and the baking sun 

And all the while I remained a willing witness enjoying this ritual offering of Santa Monica

Robert Lloyd

Retrograde

"Retrograde"

Time spent alone tends to the muddy the waters of the past

Spinning grey skies into possible sunshine memories

All just because hearing only my breath makes me long for something more

Even if that more was a bad yesterday

I play that familiar but dusty song and lose myself in what was

And like a movie we all hated the first time around I watch

Latching on to the parts that were tolerable

Making them worth my smile or applause

Solitary minutes betray me when I ache for the touch of another

Long pulls on the bottle hurry my misery and clouded recollection

Betrayed by silence and overly pensive fleeting thoughts

I nearly crumble into bad decisions and unwanted returns

The devil is my unused time

My idle hands shake with need

The only way to beat it back to hell

Is to fight with closed eyes or busy fingers

Sleep is not wanted

So I type

I write

I imagine

Sharing it with myself

Nodding approval

And then I am off again

Running down the next rabbit hole

Chasing my imaginary white rabbit

Keeping the demons of the past at bay

Robert Lloyd

Phillip

"Phillip"

The world was hushed

Shadowed from the pierce of sun

They lay contented

Shaping to the couch

Ignoring the could have been

Whispered about now and tomorrow

He her daring pursuer

She his taunting sweetness

Licking away all his pain

His golden girl

Together they chased away the hurt

No one could imagine

Years of hunger and secrets led them here

To the ends of the earth

Forever within each other’s touch

Knowing they would betray one another

What happiness last spread its wings within his thoughts

None shall ever know

She was his hard candy hell dust

But now that he is gone

Their serendipity withered and ash

She is sure to find another lover

Robert Lloyd