Echoes

"Echoes"

I can see tomorrow

And I reach for it with outstretched hands

Trying to ignore the memories of yesterday

The ones that call me back to what once was

It is those quiet whispers of happiness and torment

That are so hard to let go of

I can’t stop hearing the “I love you” untruths

Or remembering the touch of her skin

I struggle

Hoping

Somewhere deep down

That this is all a dream

And not just the echoes of experience

But I know better

And prepare myself

To stand against the darkness that still

A thousand last nights later

gathers around my heart

I can still hear her laughing as we drink wine

Barefoot in the front yard

Until the sun was no more

And the rain beat against our skin

And I smile

I will take that

And erase the rest

So that I can find myself

And my new forever

Robert Lloyd

13 October 2016

The Painters

"The Painters"

My canvass

My Life

Each day it is splattered with bits of me and you

And each night it is white washed

In preparation for the new day

Thank god for memories

If I slip

The stroke is ugly and harsh

If you smile

I am Monet

Some say that the masterpiece

The one my life paints daily

It is you

But truth knows better

My imagination is dry

It is your vision that drives my brush

You are the painter

And I the oils

Deep reds

Sky blues

All waiting for your touch

Each day it is splattered with bits of me and you

My Life

Is your canvass

Robert Lloyd

12 September 2011

Bowl

"Bowl"

Trapped

Circles

No sleep

No Eyelids

Enduring the never ending day

Waiting for steak to fall from the sky

I travel miles

Yet go nowhere

I drink

Without breathing

I am golden

But I tell you

Something seems fishy about my life

Robert Lloyd

16 November 2011

Flamenco

"Flamenco"

Caramel

She swayed

And stomped

Enticing

Eyes to follow

Her ruffled dress

Stuck to her body

As she sweat

For our pleasure

Rhythm was her partner

Strings and Wooden planks her earn

She smiled

And our hearts skipped

She held our envy, our desire

Entrancing us

As the wine poured

Pockets emptied

She danced into the night

And through our dreams

Robert Lloyd

28 October 2011

Contagious

"Contagious"

It spreads faster than anything we can comprehend

No virus can best it

Many are caught unaware

First it’s her

In the Subway

The one with the green eyes and dimples

Then it’s the elderly gentleman

Who can barely stand

But yet insists on holding the door for you

His younger and capable rival

All the babies and toddlers

Between cries for food

And a want for sleep

They are quickly consumed by it

It’s a plague that will never be defeated

When you finally make it home

Thinking you have escaped the madness

You realize

As your dog runs to greet you with his tail wagging

You too

Like all those others

Are smiling

Robert Lloyd

19 September 2016

Wild Heart

"Wild Heart"

Smashing through the underbrush

Her head pressed against the dusty galloping mare

She smiled to herself

Cowboy boots dug hard into stirrups

She hadn’t even begun

Whispering soothing words

She urged faster

And they ran

They ran together

Through the amber fields of un-watered grass

Across the dusty red dirt

Escaping

For just a little while

The reality of being held in by parallel barbwire

Was momentarily sobering

But as they rested on the bluff

Both filly and girl

The sun shone copper in the distance

And anyone who could see them knew

Neither of their wild hearts would ever be tamed

Robert Lloyd

21 September 2011

Over The Edge

“Over The Edge”

I thought I had a strong grip

Sure footing

I was able to see what lie ahead for me

And then I slipped

You did as well in that same instant

We, lost our grip

Yes

You and I blurred the lines of safety and protected hearts

We, tore down the walls that shielded us

Risking our friendship

We stepped into the fog of an unknown tomorrow

And we smiled

We laughed at our dare

And shivered from what scared us both

But we now do it within one another’s arms

And damn the thoughts of failure

Because if it does occur

If we do not struggle successfully into a future with one another

At least we have the happiness of now

We can enjoy the small moments we share

And know they are worth it

Robert Lloyd

Naked In Your Socks

“Naked In Your Socks”

Sometimes we spend too much time trying to force smiles

It seems that when we let go of our pursuit

That is when we stumble upon what we crave

So let slip the grasp of want and live the moment

The next crack in the sidewalk you blindly trip over

May just set you on your ass laughing

If not, oh well

Get up and dust yourself off

Continue staring at the clouds

And once more move forward

We spend too much time looking down

Planning our steps

Trying to ensure we navigate to the place we want

In doing so, we miss the birds and butterflies that flutter by

We miss that dimpled smiling glowing eyed glance of someone else

They may just be wondering about a what if with us

Don’t miss our chance at hello

Release the weight of a contrived future and just be

Be “Risky Business” and slide half naked in your socks across the floor

Be “The Babe” and call your shot even if there is no chance in hell

Be the bad karaoke singer that makes your ears hurt yet everyone still cheers

Be you without planning who you are

Embrace the future without caring about the outcome

This may just bring the smiles you crave

The people you wish to love

The life you so badly want to live

Look up

And step forward

Robert Lloyd

13 September, 2016

Odyssey

“Odyssey”

I endure the melancholy doldrums of my mind

They are growing brushfires that I struggle to put out

Hoping they don’t grow and scorch what little sanity I have left

Every morning I rise with thoughts of a new pursuits

Yet by the time dusk settles in

I have returned to the same worn out and well-traveled path

I want for so much more

A smile to lay my foundation on

A pursuit that is genuine and not fleeting

Something that washes away this bitter taste in my mouth

I hope for a new door

One I can throw open and marvel at what lies beyond

A place that makes me enjoy the good parts of yesterday

And respect the lessons of the harsher moments that once were

But in order to attain my want

In order to reap the rewards of laughter

I must continue to search and not settle

I must push forward

Enduring my own jumbled thoughts

Knowing happiness will be found as long I continue to look

Robert Lloyd

Atropos, She Whispers

Atropos, She Whispers  

When did you wither and grey, she asks
I was so lost in tomorrow I misplaced now
Think back to mere moments ago, she smiles
How did I not notice the clock tick by
Life did not wait for your foolishness did it, she coos
Used and broken I stand here forlorn
To start anew with better sense are your cries
Be careful what you wish for, she purrs

By Robert Lloyd

10/Aug/2010

Watching Ansel"

"Watching Ansel"

I like this…

The way the wind makes your heart race

Barefoot, dangling in the sea

The part of life that’s not wrong

It’s a treasure to step out and rest

To ignore our self-created difficulties

Man in gaining intelligence has lost peace

The foot race to tomorrow is complicated

Too much for the likes of us

Simple people

We need music, food, the ability to stop and watch

Nothing more

I like viewing the ripple of water travel across the once calm pool

I like to watch as it once again quiets

If I could get lost in Ansel Adams…

I’d be there forever

Watching those looking in

Trying to see where it is that they missed peace

And living every moment

                                                                  By Robert Lloyd

                                                                  ©Persona 2002  Press Corps, Inc

"This poem was published in the Texas State Persona Lit Mag in 2002.  It was one of my first published pieces.  When I look back at it in now I wonder if I really like it or if it was a sympathy publishing lol.  I will have to take a picture of the artwork that accompanied it and post it here shortly.

Here is a link to their historical ones and their current web page.  (http://www.personalitmag.com/history)

Silence

Silence

Offer me silence

And I will take it within my outstretched arms

Knowing

It screams louder than sound sometimes

Silence is chemical and perfect

Blistering the avoided world that surrounds us

Like a fire

Burning white hot

Silence is cleansing

It scorches our minds

And fallows the thick soil of our thoughts

Leaving room for new endeavors

I enjoy the dark quiet corners of my mind

The untouched places

Where no one else can find me

But sometimes, to get there in my head

I have to abandon the world around me

And all the noise that comes with it

In order to find me

I have to lose you

Him

Her

Them

Everyone

Possibly even who I used to be

At least for a little while

Eventually my silence will break

And I will need another breathing soul near

But for now

My pauses in life

My escapes into silence

They are a way for me to find myself

To guide me away from the howling ghosts

That gather

Rising from too many collected moments and wrong turns

Silence is my perfect temporary companion

Robert Lloyd

Just Another Sunny Day

Just Another Sunny Day

The sun has never seemed so muted

It seems as though it’s straining just to make me squint

And still

It’s just there

Hanging

Dull and yellow

My dilemma is me

My search is stunted

I wonder if in this aimless wandering

There is chance

That I will stumble into my destiny

Somewhere

Someone once said

Living without finding your purpose

Is worse than dying

Damn them for being right

And putting that knowledge in my head

I hope they are still searching

Like me

So at least I know

I am not alone

Robert Lloyd

Want Ad

"Want Ad"

Wanted

An explorer of words

And manipulator of imagination

One who seeks adventure

And the perfect mistake to be made

She must be a bit off

And willing to run

At the drop of a dime

Barefoot and uncaring

With only pens and panties in hand

Because what else is needed

To enjoy life

Save for a willingness to seek out the unknown

Robert Lloyd

29 November 2011

Armor

Armor

I wear my armor well

It is painted with forced smiles

But I do eventually become happy

It is oiled with a need to care about something

And I do for those around me

It is fitted with just the right amount of forgetfulness

And for the most part it works as I get lost in my day to days

However when busy stops the running around

The memories find their way in

If you look closely you can see my armor has been well tested

There are many holes, dents and scars from unseen battles

There is a reason it is my armor

It is there to protect me from the attack

It helps to repel the rumors and whispers

It helps to defend against those who are bitter

It helps to shield me from those who just do not understand

And yet still they offer advice about something they will never know  

But most of all

My armor protects me from myself

I am the one who can slice through my defenses like a hot knife through butter

I am the one who can unsettle the day

You see the attack from the outside is nothing I can’t handle

It’s the one from within that I struggle against

It is that moment when time freezes and I find myself alone

Calm

Quiet

Even bored

That is when my armor nearly fails

That is when my mind spins and I question who I am

I question yesterday, today and tomorrow

There so many what ifs and what should have beens

The onslaught is relentless

And just when I think I can take no more of my own assault

Just when this titanium alloyed covered mind and heart

Feels like it is protected by a cheap aluminum shield

The phone rings

And I am presented a quest

My email vibrates

And I am given a cause

My door rattles with a knock

And I greet someone who needs me for battle

My armor held against my own mental attack

And now the distraction of something else

Anything else

Allows me to escape succumbing to myself

I get the distraction of someone else’s fair maiden to rescue

I get to help sleigh another’s dragon

I get the chance to let my armor repair itself for another eventual attack

You see the armor I wear when I am around you strengthens itself 

With your victories

So that I may eventually have my own

Robert Lloyd