In The Room

 In The Room

They are not as grey as I would have imagined
Neither of us wants to speak first
Unforgetting, small brown eyes follow my every move
Our fear of immediate discontent is palpable
I am amazed
There is enough space
For the three of us
We are avoiding the obvious
Its tail swishing with the tension
We are broken
The furniture ignores its size
Our hearts dull
Its trunk sways this way and that
Yesterday is no longer about tomorrow
Grateful there are no mice scurrying about
We think small thoughts
Ivory tusks majestic and white
There is no clear path
And all I can think
They are not as grey as I would have imagined
While avoiding a lovers' graveyard

By
Robert Lloyd

Perpetual

Perpetual

The world is currently in fast forward

And I am stuck in slow motion

I sit staring at your ghosts

The memories of what used to be

I am like a record droning away in the same spot

Over and over

I removed the trinkets of love we cherished

Trying to erase the reality of tomorrow

But now, I am just haunted by the blank spaces

I fight between silence and the radio

But both beat me into tearful submission

I know I must move on

I know my next moments are faced alone

Without you

I know what I shouldn’t be doing

And yet here I am

The world is currently in fast forward

And I am stuck in slow motion

I sit staring at your ghosts

The memories of what used to be

Robert Lloyd

Rabbit

Rabbit

I am driven

Absorbing everything around me

Busying myself with stuff I used to ignore

Trying to be too involved to breathe

It’s me running faster than my own thoughts

My future ghosts are chasing me

Like hungry howls in pursuit

Waiting for me falter

But I press on determined

If I could just ignore the footsteps behind me

At least for just few moments more

Then it will all go away

I could burst out of the crowded forest that is my tortured heart

And be bathed in the sunlight of blank canvass

I escape reality by not acknowledging it

The pain of the bite at my heels is too much to endure

I am the rabbit running

Unwilling to succumb to the snarling wolves in my head

The ones I created

Robert Lloyd

Bide

Bide

Will I have the next kiss goodbye

Or will that one be my last one

As the dark cloud hovers above me

My heart waits for resolve

Wondering

Has my latest appeal prolonged the end

Will the bell toll midnight

And the finality of reality run it’s course

My death row heart holds onto hope

I wait patiently

Nervously

Painfully

Not giving in

She makes me smile when no one else can

My breath catches when she walks into a room

Still when I bleed this honesty

Hers is one of “I don’t know”

What more can I bare

Waiting for the inevitable

If there is no now

How can we hope for tomorrow

I glance back to the yesterdays

The ones she says were not there

Wondering

Which of us is lying to ourselves

Bending reality to hold onto the latest idea

The guillotine hangs ready to fall

And I willingly place my neck on the block

Begging for a quick end

Or for her to yank me away

Wanting desperately to renew us

By

Robert Lloyd

Iceberg

"Iceberg"

I am floating along                           

And melting

The beautiful world that surrounds me

Betrays me as I cherish

and struggle

with each vanishing moment

My presence

My worth

My existence

It all fades with each new sunrise

I crave something it seems I am no longer allowed

More time with you

With your supposed forever smile

With your clear blue glances

With the thought that you could never tire of me

As I drift along

Further from you

From something that once was such magic

I tremble with fear

And my heart aches

I desperately want to travel back to before

To the time before we stumbled onto this false path

This stream that drags us apart

I want yesterday

Knowing what I know today

Rather than this cold fade

I am floating along

And melting

Robert Lloyd