Scars

“Scars”

Everything is just fine

Is said with strong conviction

Although I fear the life created

And now attempt hide from

The moment I step behind closed doors

My “smile pretty for the camera” breaks

The shadows swallow me

And it is then I find my fingers grazing the soft scars on my mind

They are like an itch I cannot resist

I scratch the fading pain

Releasing the monsters and devils in my head

That greedily haunt my every turn

Churning my stomach

Showing me how broken I am 

And sending me begging for dark silence

When I am granted the silence I have chased

When the Television is off

When the radio no longer shares old memories

When the record player reaches its end

And rhythmically repeats the same spinning static pop

When I have ignored enough outstretched hands of friendship

I regret my request

My head is the worst place to hide

I drown the pain with everything but me

I am losing myself

But don’t want to be found right now

Robert Lloyd
4 May 2016

"Sometimes, it is not the world that hurts us the most but the demons inside. And when the world goes silent and leaves us alone, we can no longer hide. When our own minds turn against us, where can we turn? Our sanity is lost." ~ Uknown