Tandem Seraph

"Tandem Seraph" 


My world was graham cracker cookie dry and slowly crumbling. It was the dust you find at the bottom any dry goods bag. That is until two angels, with their own sins to consider, picked me up and carried me from the decay of my own heart and self destructive mind. No matter what tomorrow brings; distance, reality or even the wrath of those very angels, I cannot and will not forget their rescue. Their silver tongues and backhands exposed me to my own flawed and selfish world. They pushed me away from the detrimental mirror that I stared into and ushered me to a door I had not opened, or even considered trying to open. They had no reason to become a part of me and yet they did. They crept from their very own partially shattered and jumbled lives with outstretched hands and pulled me from the wet cement I was allowing to engulf me. They saved me from myself. There now exists a glint in my eye that had gone dull and muted for a short while. They gave me a rebirth, or rather, a willingness to realize there is more beyond my broken yesterdays. This tandem treasure will forever remain a rooted moment in who I am to become. They gave me brushes for a canvass I only saw as blank and pointless. They gave me a desire to paint bold and bright. They gave me back to myself and for that each shall be forever chained to the future that I embrace. Their physical presence may dwindle and fade but the heart and intent of these angels will always be red bricked strong in the foundation of my tomorrow. For this I whisper thanks over and over until the echoes take hold and keep it on repeat forever.

 Robert Lloyd

Buffalo Trace

“Buffalo Trace”

He watches the world pass by

One drink at a time

With each sip the good times get better

And the bad ones disappear

A little fun creeps in through the cracks of misery

It’s hard fighting the funny moments you remember

The ones that now tear you to pieces

But with a bit of something that could start a car

You can stumble and trip your mind

The world can fog just enough to make you think all is ok

And your imagination of what could be can take control

A new pair of whiskey glasses can make the saddest clown smile

So with a sip

And another

And maybe one more

The future is so bright

Tomorrow morning you will have to wear shades

Robert Lloyd

4 April 2016

Scars

“Scars”

Everything is just fine

Is said with strong conviction

Although I fear the life created

And now attempt hide from

The moment I step behind closed doors

My “smile pretty for the camera” breaks

The shadows swallow me

And it is then I find my fingers grazing the soft scars on my mind

They are like an itch I cannot resist

I scratch the fading pain

Releasing the monsters and devils in my head

That greedily haunt my every turn

Churning my stomach

Showing me how broken I am 

And sending me begging for dark silence

When I am granted the silence I have chased

When the Television is off

When the radio no longer shares old memories

When the record player reaches its end

And rhythmically repeats the same spinning static pop

When I have ignored enough outstretched hands of friendship

I regret my request

My head is the worst place to hide

I drown the pain with everything but me

I am losing myself

But don’t want to be found right now

Robert Lloyd
4 May 2016

"Sometimes, it is not the world that hurts us the most but the demons inside. And when the world goes silent and leaves us alone, we can no longer hide. When our own minds turn against us, where can we turn? Our sanity is lost." ~ Uknown

Maybe

“Maybe”

Maybe it’s your smile

An Injection of hope the moment I see it

Naturally, I am drawn to you

Daring to feel once more

Yearning for your soft touch and sweet whispers

Maybe it’s your strength

A survivor’s courage and aura

Can this truly be happening?

Knowing you have been there too

Living on the edge

I feel as if we were made for each other

Now it’s just a matter of finding out

Robert Lloyd

Covet

"Covet"

Her heart raced wondering what he was doing

Eyes burning, staring off into her own imagination

Did he think of her when he laughed with another

Was his smile as bright in someone else’s presence

The thought of him sitting by an alter that was not hers

Drove her mad

He is to want and worship only me

She whispered

She knew no threat existed

But just the mere thought the impossible possibilities

Made her hunger

She was a restless flame

Bouncing to and from

Burning for him

Envy’s venom tickled her head

And poisoned her heart

She was jealous he was not at her beck and call

And she savored every last moment

Knowing he liked it that way

Robert Lloyd

29 April 2016

I Won’t

"I Won’t"

I won’t apologize for this she whispers

As her lips graze mine

I am not sorry for wanting you

I am not sorry for sending your heart racing

I will not regret making you ache with desire

Tomorrow may make me a memory

But I won’t apologize for now

I won’t apologize for this she whispers

As she nibbles on my neck

I am not sorry for needing you

I am not sorry for rendering you speechless

I will not regret the shudders you send down my spine

Tomorrow may make us a memory

But I won’t apologize for now

I won’t apologize for this she whispers

As she pulls away from our last kiss

I am not sorry for what just happened

I am not sorry for leaving you to stare at me longingly

I will not regret any of us

Tomorrow may make you a memory

But I will not apologize for now

Robert Lloyd

28 April 2016

Temptation

"Temptation"

She hung wet on his lips like she was right there

Her kiss was thick and velvet

And hours ago

Forbidden made it all the more sweeter

What were they thinking

Did they dare tempt yesterday’s promise for today’s fantasies

The question was fleeting

Because the trespass was already accomplished

They already found hell in one another’s touch

And they did not give a damn

It was perfection

Full of regret and want in the same instant

They knew it would not be the first

And they dreaded the day it was to be their last

Yet they still danced hungrily

Wanting the next chance to sin again

Robert Lloyd

27 April 2016

Work Day Daydreams

“Work Day Daydreams”

She sits staring blankly

Gazing into the nothingness only she can see

Her imagination painting so many other worlds with him

She sees herself in a field of sunflowers

Or standing by a mountain lake

She can feel a warm tropic sun as it massages her skin

Then the phone rings

And the reality of her world takes hold

He watches her from afar

Wishing the smile she rarely shares might be because of him

Wondering what she looks like pressed into the pillows and full of lust

He sees their embrace and his heart skips

If only he could chase down yesterday and make her his

He wants for something he can never have and devours every second of her he can

Then the phone rings

And the reality of his world takes hold

They struggle with their lives

Traveling into the fantasies of what could have been

Trying to escape their cemented paths

At least they have each other for brief impossible moments

Their eyes meet every so often and glow with fire

Smiles break the tension

Then the phone rings

And the reality of their worlds takes hold

Robert Lloyd

27 April 2016

Little Moments

“Little Moments”

I need you pressed against me

To feel your warm honey kissed skin on mine

I want to tell you all my fantasies

So we can make them come true

I want to chase the dream neither of us are supposed to have

If only just because I know it will make you smile

I wish we could outrun reality

Leave everything behind

And get lost on empty beach with its warm water tickling our toes

I know this is just a picture hanging center and displayed in my mind

Like one in museum we are never allowed to touch

But still it’s amazing to look at

And so are you

I may only get moments of your day

But it is those very moments that make my day worth it

Robert Lloyd

26 April 2016

Tenacious

"Tenacious" 

Her alabaster pale white skin is broken by the shiny metal of inspiration, hunger and other’s hope. She listens to the words impossible, never and can’t and she smiles with a wicked defiant grin. Her eyes beaming brave against the world. No stairs can tame her and no words can cause her to falter. She is determination and reason balanced by an elegant graceful beauty. As the wind floats through her golden locks she savors the onlooker’s astonishment no matter a catwalk or the orange crumble of a quarter mile track. Just try and tell her she can’t do something.

Aimee Mullins is the double amputee model and athlete who inspired this piece.

Endless

"Endless"

Patterns of my youth have emerged

Like a fog light of hope

Breaking through the grey clouds of submission

I had given in to the thoughts of lonely expectations

And was ready to find my inner solitary peace

And then

She erased the droll life before me

Or at least showed me a path to follow

Giving me a chance to realize our dreams may fade

But they never actually go away

They hang there waiting for the right connection

Like the pop of static when two bits of cloth first touch

I try not to rush my Idle moments

Still I want to hear her voice

I cannot deny my smile

Is because of her

I am high school and giddy

Wanting to be her prince or knight

Hoping to sleigh her dragons

And possibly my own

We are each a bit damaged

I with my mistakes and stumbles

And her with some small chips and cracks

But here

In the beginning

The point where she giggles and I laugh

The point where I reveal and she accepts

The point where we both have hope

It makes me feel like it’s just slightly possible

That our splintered hearts and puzzle piece lives

Might come together to form a wonderfully painted canvass

That reveals an adventurous tomorrow within one another’s arms

The possibilities seem endless

And I for one

Cannot wait to see where we are headed

Robert Lloyd